


A Five Year Mission...

by Nesmiths



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Heavily complicated humans (and vulcan), M/M, McChekov, Relationship in a professional setting, pavel has too much confidence in his ability to hold strong liquor, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:15:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nesmiths/pseuds/Nesmiths
Summary: Prompt - Reads like an episode, attempt to stay within cannonI've taken some creative liberties, but as far as character's personalities and speech patterns I've tried to stay within those characters.(With you? With you. was scrapped for being too rushed and rough. I will eventually revise and return to it)
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, Pavel Chekov/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Pavel Chekov/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Comments: 26
Kudos: 37





	1. I can't believe its not Shore-leave

“Send us out, Mr Scott.” The captain gave a half-hearted wave at the engineer. 

Scotty gave a nod. “Aye, safe travels, Captain. Commencing transport.” With that, he pressed a couple of buttons on the lit-up console in front of him.

A quick flash of light seemed to absorb the captain and his away team. 

“Why couldn’t we take a goddamned pod, like normal people?” Bones grumbled. He rubbed his shoulder. “Makin’ all my damned particles feel fuzzy.” 

“It would have taken approximately twelve days in a shuttle to get to these coordinates,” Spock said offhandedly, examining a strange plant.

“Now men, please remember we are here to collect information to send to Starfleet command. We have three days to gather all we can on this planet,” The captain spoke, a small smirk on his lips. “I can expect that this will be a peaceful mission, gentlemen?” 

“Of course, Jim.” Spock nodded as he collected plant samples from the strange new foliage before him. The trees were yellow and spiny; decorated with small purple flowers. They seemed to move and react to Spock, either swaying towards his gloved hands or regenerating as samples were taken. “Fascinating”

“What is it, Commander?” Chekov stepped behind his kneeling colleague, attempting to peek over his shoulder. 

“Unless you got a mask Lieutenant, take a step back.” Bones called out. “Yain’t as sturdy as our green-blooded friend.”

“Why thank you, doctor.” Spock stood up to face the captain. “The plant life here seems to be aware of our presence. Would it be appropriate for me to request that we do not harm the plant life here?”

“You heard, Spock. Keep off the grass.” The Captain flipped open his communicator. “Kirk to Enterprise.”

“Come in, Captain.” Uhura’s voice responded. 

“We seem to have come across some peaceful, sentient, plant life. Standby, just in case we’re wrong. Kirk out.”

“Damn well better be peaceful.” Bones grumbled, placing a mask on Lieutenant Chekov’s face. “Living ‘er not ya’ll better be careful. I can’t be spendin’ the next three days on a vaccine for a new virus.”  
Chekov pulled the mask under his chin. “Permission to go ahead with Mister Spock, sir?”

“Granted, Mister Chekov.” The Captain waved his hand, seeming to focus on the planets nearby. “...Bones stay behind and help me locate any other possible Alien life.” 

Bones was clearly not thrilled with the command but stayed behind. “Don’t you go touchin’ anything!” He called to them.

“He’s a fine officer, Bones. I’m sure Mister Chekov will manage.” The captain held his scanner out from himself. “You’re like a doting mother.” 

“I hardly see how I’m comparable to a mother.” 

The scanner chimed in the Captain’s hand. “This way” He grabbed the doctor’s arm, turning to run behind a nearby rock. 

“Hello.” The captain turned right into a strange woman, standing face to face. “I am Sybo, and we’ve been expecting you.” She smiled graciously. “You must be from Starfleet.”

“Starfleet command didn’t tell me you were aware of us.” The Captain took a step back, uncomfortable but maintaining an air of professional composure.

“Oh, we prefer to remain obstructed from space politics. It is safer that way. I do have to say it is alarming that we’ve been discovered, but as I said, we were expecting you. With that, Argelius welcomes you with open arms.”

“I can assure you, we’re only here to learn.”

The doctor shrugged off the Captain’s hand on his arm. “This is Captain James Kirk, and I’m Doctor Leonard Mccoy.”

“Of course, my apologies madam, where are my manners.” The Captain said smoothly. 

Sybo smiled, “No worries, Argelius isn’t the place for those. Is it safe to assume you’ll be here for a while, Captain?”

“Three days, if you’ll have us, of course.”

“Perhaps, that could be arranged.” She began to walk away from them. “Follow me, Captain... Doctor.”

Bones shot a glance at Kirk, who returned it before following her. 

“Here on Argelius, we do not have laws, as there really is no need for them. We’re a peaceful people.”

“Well, I can’t say I find any trouble with that.” The Captain spoke as Sybo lead them to a large log-style cabin.

“Please, make yourself at home here in our activities. There are empty accommodations upstairs.” She opened the door.

“Thank you, Miss.” Bones followed the Captain inside. The two men were immediately greeted with women dancing to drums. String lights hung from the walls and around the tables. 

Bones could tell that the Captain was already making himself at home in the way he watched the women dance. “I’m going to go see about those accommodations.”

“Of course, contact the rest of the team. I’ll be down here… collecting information of course.” He sat down at one of the tables.

The doctor rolled his eyes. “Yes, Captain.” He found his way upstairs, following the colored lights to a long hallway. He flipped open his communicator. “Mccoy to Chekov.”

“Leo, where are you? We’re at the meetup point.” An exasperated Chekov came through.

“We’re still on a mission, Lieutenant.” Bones warned. “We’re just south of the meetup point in a cabin. I think the sign outside said “Dancin’ Den” or somethin’.”

“We will be there soon, catch me up on all this later. Chekov out.” 

Bones shoved his communicator in his pocket with a sigh. He knew whatever just happened would be a conversation later. Deciding against waiting around in the hall he chose a room. Behind the sturdy, surprisingly heavy, wooden door laid marble flooring adorned with purple silk furniture. He let himself fall face-first onto the large bed, its bedclothes the same color and fabric as the rest of the furniture.

“Doctor, you are awake?” The door creaked open.

Bones would know that accent anywhere. His eyes cracked open. “Mister Chekov.” There was a smirk on his lips. He heard footsteps crossing the room and felt the bed dip on the other side. 

Chekov laid his head on Bones’ back. “Gonna try to get all professional on me again?”

‘Here we go’, Bones thought. “Pasha, ya know we can’t get all personal on Starfleet’s frequency.” He felt a pair of hands run up the back of his shirt.  
“You could’ve been in danger.” Chekov sat up to massage his boyfriend’s back. 

“That’s always a possibility.” Bones stretched out. “...but I think we all got lucky with this planet.”

Chekov seemed to go quiet. They slipped into an uncomfortable silence, neither knowing what to say although both of them had plenty on their minds. After a few, painfully long minutes Chekov finally spoke up. “Did you notice the dancers, Leo?”

Bones’ blinked a few times into the bed, fully registering the nature of the question. “They’re not really my type, sweetheart.” Chekov’s hands retreated away from him, obviously not finding the humor in his sarcasm. The doctor sat up next to Chekov. “Oh come on, Pasha, really?”

“You were dismissive to me, and when I finally find you it’s in an alien strip club…” Pavel leaned his back against the bedpost.

“The very first thing I did was come up here and contact you.” Bones looked at Pavel. “Besides, why would I watch them when I have you?”

Pavel blushed, hiding his face in his hands. “I would never wear such costumes.”

“Not even for me?” Bones’ smirked, knowing he’d won. He leaned forward on his hands towards his boyfriend. “You’d look cute in a skimpy feathered costume.” The older man began to crawl up onto Pavel’s lap, kissing the brunette. 

“Kirk to Mccoy.” Bones’ communicator buzzed, causing a whine from Chekov. The older man made a mental note of how cute that was as he answered. “This is Mccoy, whats up, Jim?”

“Spock and I are heading out to collect more plant samples, we’ll meet back here before morning. Kirk out.”

“Plant samples got it.” Bones shut his communicator. 

Chekov leaned into Bones. “Perhaps I’d wear those feathers for you if I knew the Captain wouldn’t interrupt us.”

“If you do I’ll throw my communicator out the damn window.” He picked it up for emphasis. “I’ll chuck the damn thing now if it helps…”

Chekov laughed and pushed Bones’ hands down. “I’ll keep that in mind, but it is getting late. Maybe we should just rest for now.”

~

The next morning Bones woke to the sun shining brightly through the windows and a pair of lips on his neck. “Good… Morning… Leo…” The younger man’s words punctuated by kisses.

He opened his eyes and pulled Chekov up for a kiss. “Mornin’ Pasha,” Bones glanced over at his communicator. “We might actually have time this morning…” 

Pavel gave a sarcastic laugh. “Don’t bet on it.” He said, slipping out of bed in search of his uniform shirt. He threw Bones’ shirt at him. “It’s like he can sense us.”

The two put on their shirts before going downstairs to meet the rest of their team. 

“Goodmorning, men” Kirk greeted them as they came down the staircase. “How was day one of observing Argelian culture?”

“I’m afraid we won’t be observing more than Argelian plant species, Captain,” Pavel said, glancing around at the dancers.

“Suit yourself, but just remember we have direct orders to learn anything we can.” The captain raised his eyebrows, clearly enjoying this mission a bit too much.

“That’s great an’ all, Jim, but why would Starfleet need to know Argelian strip dancing?” 

“My exact thoughts, Doctor.” Spock’s arms were folded tightly, as if he’d loosen up they may fall off. “However, as far as the plant life here, we’ve found it does emit certain qualities that when metabolized by humans can mimic pleasure responses. I am, of course, immune.”

“Are you tellin’ me everyone here is just a little bit high?” Bones said in disbelief. Part of him wanted to relax, and if they weren’t currently on a mission he would be. This is definitely gonna be a shore leave destination.

“Well, it certainly would explain a few things...” Chekov trailed off, a small knowing smile on his lips. Even he had noticed the change in himself and Mccoy. “Maybe staying here for two more days isn’t such a good idea.”

“Lieutenant, do you know how to relax?” Kirk raised an eyebrow and smiled, grabbing a drink off of a random tray as the waiter walked by. “New mission, gather information and relax.”

“Perhaps you are too relaxed, Captain.” Spock accused. “We are on a mission after all.”

“Don’t be silly now, Spock. Try to enjoy yourself, and that’s an order.” The Captain lightly patted Spock’s cheek. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I am off to learn.” He turned on his heel, leaving his crew in disbelief. Maybe this little impromptu vacation was a good thing, or maybe it was an elaborate trap. As long as they had a direct line to Starfleet and their ship all is fine.

“Well, if that’s how its gonna be I’m gonna go collect information on the alcohol on this planet.”

“Not in here, you’re not,” Pavel said quickly, nearly dragging Mccoy out of the club. 

Mccoy rolled his eyes. He hadn’t given those girls a bit of his attention. “Okay then, where to?”

“We will find something.” The lieutenant began following a dirt path. “This probably leads to town.”

The walk lasted a bit too long for the number of words spoken during, which came in at a grand total of zero. That is until Mccoy decided an argument was in order, of course. “You are so jealous, it’s mind-blowing.” 

“So blow me.” Pavel hadn’t stopped walking, deciding instead to be a dismissive little shit.

“Are you kidding me right now? We’re on an away mission and you’re gonna be like this… AND you won’t even talk about it.”

“It is just unfair.” Finally, Pavel stopped walking and turned around. “Kirk is out there enjoying himself under the guise of work, and I can’t even get an hour alone with you.”

“Are you tellin’ me what I think you are?” Bones stood a little taller, a little smugger in his disposition. “These plants out here got you that bothered, lieutenant?”

The younger man let out an annoyed huff. “Of course not.”

Bones took his communicator out of his pocket, tossing it to the side. “I don’t see anybody around here, do you, Lieutenant?” He took a step towards him, looking intently at Pavel.

“Don’t be insane, this could be a main road!” Pavel attempted a protest, but he was cut short by his own voice cracking. He knew he needed this. 

“I’m willin’ to risk that if you are, darlin’ .” He closed the gap between them and lifted off his shirt. “What do ya say, sweetheart?”

The younger man’s eyes cautiously surveyed the space around them. He seemed to relax a little upon realizing just how secluded they were from everything. “If you don’t blow me…” 

“I’m gonna need to see your prescription for that…” Mccoy quirked a grin.  
Pavel ran his hand over Leonard’s hair and gave a gentle tug. “Oh my god, shut up.”


	2. In Russia we out-drink our horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pavel walks into a bar...

“Feeling better…?” Mccoy stood up, pressing a kiss onto Pavel’s nose. He reached over for his discarded shirt and slipped it on.

The younger man blushed as he zipped his pants. “Perhaps these plants do have an effect on me..” He bent down and grabbed his boyfriend's communicator.

“...could’ve fooled me.” Mccoy grinned. “Anyway, come on. I was serious about finding a bar.”

Pavel returned his smile, leaning on Bones’ shoulder as they walked. “You think anyone saw us?” 

“I don’t really care.” He said honestly, wrapping an arm around Pavel. It wasn’t long before the dirt path turned to bricks with large buildings and tents on either side. 

Pavel nodded at one of the buildings. String lights hung on the door, seeming to blink as people came and went. “That looks promising.”

“..bet ya Jims in there” Bones made his way to the door, holding it open. “After you.”

“I doubt it…” Pavel spoke as he looked around. “They’re not really his type.”

“What do ya mean?” He followed his boyfriend inside, letting the door swing shut. “Oh, well…” There was a pleasant quirk in his voice. The two men were greeted with male dancers in a similar setup to the first bar. 

Pavel lead Bones through the crowd and to an empty table. He glanced up at the dancers from his drink menu.

“Now, now… Don’t ya stare.” Mccoy taunted, although he was doing the same thing. 

The younger man blushed upon being caught and buried his face into his menu. 

A waiter appeared through the crowd. “What can I get you two?” His green skin illuminated from the string lights, or perhaps this species emits a faint light. The two men weren’t sure. 

Pavel managed to stutter out a decent attempt on one of the traditional Argelian drinks. The photo made it look relatively similar to the vodka he’d grown accustomed to on earth.

“You did well,” The waiter smiled. “...but it is not a drink that most earth creatures can pronounce. And for you?” He turned his attention to Bones.

“I ain’t even gonna try to say it, but make that two. Thank ya.” Bones nodded.

The waiter left the two men.

“They probably got their inspiration for this drink from Russia.” Pavel eyed the drink menu.

“That is illogical, Lieutenant. It is not possible that this non-invasive species could have known about your home country.”

The two men turned to see Spock awkwardly standing beside their table. 

“Commander, what are you doing here?” The younger man spoke up, a little surprised to find the Vulcan here. 

“Looking for you two, the Captain requests we go to the original meet up point.”

“After our drinks.” Mccoy waved him off. “Why don’t ya sit for now. Ten minutes tops.” 

Almost as if he’d been summoned, the waiter came through the crowd with their drinks. “Good luck, boys.” He gave a playful smile as he sat them down and disappeared back into the crowd.

Spock grabbed one of the drinks and took a small sip. “This could kill an earth horse.” He raised an eyebrow and looked at his colleagues before sitting the glass down.

“Well, in Russia we out-drink our horses.” Pavel picked up the glass, tipping it towards his green-blooded friend, before knocking it back. He slammed the glass down involuntarily. Luckily, the noise was lost in the crowd. He coughed, forcing himself to speak. “...is not so bad, Commander,” The young Russian’s voice was raspy. 

Mccoy rolled his eyes, tapping his credits chip onto the scanner in the middle of the table. “That damn stuff’ll turn ya green.” He winced at his comment in instant regret, just in case that waiter was nearby.

“Very diplomatic, Doctor,” Spock spoke as they stood from the table.

“Oh, can it, Spock.” He shot back before helping Pavel out of his chair. 

“Please do and try to keep up.” Spock lead them through the crowd to the outside, not giving much care to make sure they were still behind him. 

Pavel stumbled down the steps leading outside, holding onto Mccoy’s shoulder. After a few more troublesome steps Mccoy sighed and swept Pavel up. “Still think you can out-drink your damn Russian horses?”

“Da, I am still alive, Doctor.” He managed, sarcastically sticking his tongue out at him.

Spock, again, raised his brow but continued walking.

It wasn’t long before they’d arrived at the meetup point.

The captain had been waiting, face in his communicator. “....ah, yes Mister Scott, they’ve just arrived. Please stand by with transporters ready.” 

“Are we headin’ back early?” Bones asked, seeming a little hopeful.

“There isn’t much to this planet as far as I can gather. Their customs are very similar to our Earth’s bar scenes, though without violence and crime. And, of course, we also must keep in mind that this species is non-invasive and poses no threat.” He paused, turning his attention to Chekov. “What’s wrong with my navigator?”

“Argelian Vodka.” Pavel cleared his throat.

“Permission to run a few tests in medbay when we return, Captain? This stuff could be poison.”

“It is just strong alcohol, Captain,” Spock interjected. “One might argue that it is poison, but the lieutenant will not die from this.”

“I would appreciate one away mission where one of you doesn’t get into some kind of trouble.” Kirk flipped his communicator open. “Kirk to Enterprise, four to beam up.”

“Aye, Captain.” Scotty’s voice came through. It wasn’t much longer until a bright light absorbed them and dropped them in the transporter room.

“Every goddamned time.” Bones wobbled on his feet, nearly dropping his boyfriend. 

Kirk patted Mccoy’s cheek. “Yet, you made it.” The captain stepped down off of his platform. “Spock, take us back to federation space and Bones, detox my navigator. Once all of you are safe for duty report to the labs and file your plant samples. Sulu will take over from there.” 

“Yes, Captain.” Spock was the first to move, leaving Mccoy behind to help, half-drag, Pavel to medbay.

Kirk rubbed his temples. “I’m switching you and Pavel for our next away mission, Mister Scott.”

~

Mccoy lifted Pavel onto the cot. “I can’t believe you just shot that drink back, after being warned.”

“I’m fine.” Pavel held his head as if he were afraid it’d fall off. “It’ll pass, doctor.”

“You were being irresponsible.” He scolded, fumbling through a bag for a detox hypo. 

The younger man groaned as his head pounded. “As if I was the only one taking risks on this mission.”

“Okay, you win.” Bones knew there was no use arguing that they were both a little reckless on this mission. “To be fair, to both of us, there were no active threats. This was more of a shore leave situation than a mission.” He pressed the hypo into his arm. 

Pavel sighed in relief as the hypo took effect almost instantly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Suffer, probably.” He shrugged. “You think you can manage walkin’ now, Pasha?”

He carefully slid off the cot and nodded. “I think I’m good,” He said, taking a couple of steps. “The captain wants us at the labs, correct?” He stretched his arms up over his head.

“What the devil?” The doctor squinted his eyes like he wasn’t sure what he was seeing.

“Leo, what is it?”

“Pavel.” The doctor’s voice was unreadable. “Get back up on that table.” 

“I thought you cleared me?” He folded his arms. “I feel fine.”

“Get on the damn table, that’s an order, Lieutenant.” There was urgency, maybe worry, in his tone.

Pavel stood there for a few seconds, startled by Bones’ change of tone. He did as he was told.

Bones turned to the sink to wash his hands before slipping on a pair of gloves. His attitude seemed to soften as he turned around, noticing that he’d scared Pavel. “Please remove your shirt, darlin’. Gotta throw that away to be safe.”

The younger man didn’t speak as he carefully lifted his shirt off. He noticed a green patch of skin. 

The doctor picked up his shirt and threw it in the trash. “Do you feel any different? Any headaches, itchiness, or dizziness?” 

“Well, no. I had a little headache before the hypo, but it is gone now.”

Bones flipped a switch on his desk. “Mccoy to Transport.”

“Aye, Mccoy, what can I do for ye?” Scotty answered cheerfully.

“Is Jim still down there with ya?”

“What’s up, Bones?” Kirk’s voice came through.

“I need you and Spock in my medbay as soon as possible, Mccoy out.” He flipped the com switch off. “How much you wanna bet it was that damned drink?”

Pavel sighed. “..then you were right. I need to be less reckless.” 

Fifteen or so minutes passed before the medbay doors slid open. Kirk stepped in with Spock not too far behind.

“Bones, What happened?”

“Lieutenant Chekov is green, Captain,” Spock stated, gesturing to Pavel’s rash that had now spread around his waist.

“I’m gonna need you both to check yourselves for anything remotely similar to this…” Bones began rummaging in his bag again. “Pick a curtain and disrobe.”

The captain looked as if he were about to protest but quickly stopped himself when Bones shot him a look. “Ya could be sick now go.”

Both men disappeared behind separate curtains.

By the time they returned Pavel was completely green. 

“Mother of…” Kirk took a step back. 

“I know...you two find anything?”

“I am clean, doctor,” Spock replied.

“Me too…” Kirk added absentmindedly, still staring at Pavel’s skin. “Do you know what caused this yet?”

Bones grabbed two hypos from his bag. “Not yet, but I got an idea.” He turned to Spock and the Captain. “Arms…” He waited until they both held out their arms and jabbed them both. “This is just for your immune systems to ward off any kind of new virus that might be tryin’ to weasel its way in ya.” 

Pavel had been looking at his arms. “Maybe this is why that waiter was green?”

“Bones, see if you can hail Sybo and ask her about any possible side-effects of that janky vodka Chekov drank…” Kirk spoke with his finger in the air, mildly proud of himself.

Bones flipped a few switches on his com. “This is Leonard Mccoy, Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise. I’m requesting assistance with a possible medical emergency with one of my crew.” 

“So you can be professional, Doctor.” Spock quipped.

“Can it, Spock.” He warned. The doctor was about to say something else, something a little less professional when the com buzzed. 

“This is Sybo of Argelius. Is everything alright, Doctor Mccoy?” The voice just barely came through the static, no doubt from the Argelian’s older tech. 

“Lieutenant Chekov has turned green. It started as a little rash, but it spread fast.”

There was a little chuckle from Sybo. “Was your Lieutenant partaking in ….. ?” She made what could only be described as a screechy and guttural sound. 

The doctor was a little taken aback upon realizing that’s how you pronounce it. “Is that, by chance, one of your traditional drinks?”

“Your Lieutenant is just experiencing a side effect. This is very common and will go away within a few days.”

“Thank you, Sybo. Mccoy out.” He shut off the com. 

“Leo… did she say days?” Pavel asked nervously, still examining his hands.

“Sure did, Champ,” Kirk said, a little too much pep in his words. “Maybe now you’ll think before you go drinking random things from undiscovered planets.” 

Pavel just gave him a blank, vaguely annoyed stare.

“Well boys, I’ve gotta get back to the bridge with my first officer.” Kirk, the sarcastic bastard, if you asked Bones, shot finger guns at the two men.

Pavel rolled his eyes but waited for the doors to slide shut before speaking. “So how many days do you think ‘a few’ is to an Argelian?”

“We’re about to find out.”


	3. The Green Gentleman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pavel and Bones give Spock advice. It works.
> 
> Everybody gets laid.
> 
> By the end of this chapter, there's only one green officer aboard the USS Enterprise. 
> 
> Leonard takes credit for that...

Pavel woke to his bed dipping off to the side. He yawned as his eyes popped open. “What’re you doing here?”

“You’re still green…” Bones said flatly. Part of Pavel thought that maybe his boyfriend was getting a kick out of this.

The younger man shot him a sore look. “You really have to point that out this early...” 

Bones seemed to soften a little. “...sorry” He offered a smile. “I just wanted to check up on ya, and I’m not used to seeing ya so… green.” 

Pavel sat up against the headboard and kicked his sheets off. He stretched his arms over his head with another deep yawn. “You are lucky you are cute, doctor.” 

“I think I’ll start using that to my advantage, but I gotta know just how much do ya think I could get away with from bein’ cute, Pasha?”

“Did I just give you a complex?” The younger man let out a giggle. 

“Seriously.” He raised his brows and glanced at the bedside table.

“Are you honestly suggesting…” Pavel was cut off by the door chiming. He groaned and threw his blanket over himself. “Who is it?”

“Permission to enter, Lieutenant,” Commander Spock’s voice came through the com. He sounded a little down and out, unusually so.

Mccoy was about to protest, but Pavel shoved him off the bed before he could press the com button. The older man made a small thud.

“Come in, Commander.” Pavel sighed as he slid a black shirt on from the floor. 

Bones sat up on the floor. “I can’t believe you just shoved me.”

“Stop being horny, your friend is upset,” Pavel said flatly, not long after the quarter’s doors slid open. Spock stepped through them, appearing just as he’d sounded earlier. 

“Spock?” Pavel got out of bed to greet him. He’d never been visited by the commander, let along seen him like this. The Lieutenant was unfamiliar with any of this. “Are you okay?”

The Vulcan seemed to be thinking hard about something. Generally, Spock made problem-solving seem effortless. Whatever this was had to be a bigger mess than what he’s already faced. The thought was worrying to the two men. 

“How did you both decide to…” Spock started, genuinely trying to find the most professional way to present his words. “...become a pair?”

Mccoy tilted his head like a confused animal. “Excuse me?” 

“You did hear me, Doctor.” 

The doctor gave him stark a look.

Pavel snickered, even when Spock wasn’t feeling his best he still was able to pick at Mccoy’s nerves. “So you’re curious about why we’re together? Why?”

“I would like to know how human attraction works.” 

“Oh, so the robot wants to love. Who’s the unlucky bastard?” Pavel would like to believe this was Mccoy’s way of playful banter and not the outcome of fifteen minutes of sexual frustration.

“Leo!” Pavel scolded before turning to Spock. “This is sweet, Spock.” He gave a reassuring smile. “Who is it?”

“I believe I am attracted to the captain.” The half-Vulcan stuttered on that last word as his eyes darted to his sides. It was as if he was afraid someone may jump out of the shadows with a camera any minute. 

“We kinda already knew that…” The younger man tried to say as gently as possible.

Spock seemed to be slowly acclimating himself to this new situation he’d put himself in. He was far from comfortable, but at least he seemed calmer than he was just five minutes ago. “You two seem to know what you are doing. What do I do?”

“That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Mccoy was almost taken aback. He took a moment to enjoy the near-compliment before continuing. “Have you ever just tried talking to him? Jim’s a reasonable guy. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, nothing’s gonna change between you two.”

“I am unsure how I will handle him not feeling the same, Doctor.”

Bones raised an eyebrow, not used to witnessing Spock having feelings. “Oh...well...um.”

“Why wouldn’t he like you?” Pavel tried to be supportive. “You’ve been a great friend to him…”

“Perhaps, but I am not sure how to approach this topic…” Spock shifted uncomfortably.

“Just go talk to him.” Pavel bounced a bit on his feet, slipping into enthusiasm as he got used to Spock’s newfound feelings. “You’re fine the way you are, and sometimes getting straight to the point is charming.”

Spock seemed to be mulling the idea over when Pavel put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll even come with you and jump in to help if you need us.”

Mccoy was about to pre-agree with Spock. There was no way he could think that was a good idea. Of course, the Vulcan was full of surprises tonight. “I guess this would be acceptable.”

The younger man actually squealed with delight. “He’s probably in the mess right now anyway, so it’ll be perfect!” 

Begrudgingly, Mccoy followed the men, all of them in their pajamas, to the mess hall. Pavel and Mccoy ordered synthesized drinks and tried to act casual a few tables away from Jim. “Nothin’ good can come from anythin’ green.” He grumbled.

Pavel shushed him, but not before glaring hard.

Over at the other table, Spock had just taken his seat across from the Captain. 

“Good morning, Mister Spock.” Jim raised his coffee cup to the Vulcan before taking a drink. “What brings you here so early?” He wasn’t exactly bright-eyed or bushy-tailed, but the Vulcan could tell he wasn’t in a bad mood either.

Spock folded his hands in his lap nervously. “It has come to my attention that I have developed feelings for you.”

The Captain sat up a little straighter. “Come again, Commander?” His tone was even though his hands nearly lost his coffee cup. 

“It appears that I have feelings for you.” Spock’s voice teetering dangerously close to stutters. “...Captain.”

Jim cleared his throat as if he were trying to pull himself from his head. “Well…” He took a deep breath, looking around as if someone had put Spock up to this. If he hadn’t already known Spock so well he would’ve been sure that’s what was happening right now. “...It really is about damn time.” 

“I am afraid I do not understand, Captain.” Spock stuttered out, sure he’d miscalculated his words and made a mistake. 

Suddenly, fingers were delicately sliding over his ear. He felt a calloused thumb run over his cheekbone. “Captain?”

“It’s James.” The Captain leaned over the table, pressing a soft kiss into the Vulcan’s lips. The Vulcan flushed green.

Spock carefully stood up, never breaking from Kirk, until the two stood over the table. He reached out and pressed two fingers to the captain’s cheek. 

Kirk used his other hand to hold Spock’s against his cheek. When the two finally pulled apart Spock searched his brain for words. “...James.” The Vulcan searched the human’s face in front of him, surveying the pair of brown eyes looking back at him, just as wordless as himself. 

“You’re green.” The Captain smirked, brushing his fingertips across the Vulcan’s cheek. 

“It appears you have that effect on me, James.” Spock’s voice was smoother, he returned the Captain’s look. 

After a moment Kirk stood up straighter. “Would you care to meet me on the observation deck after your duties today, Spock?”

“Is it a possibility that’s a command, Captain?” Spock sucked in his lower lip. You could cut the sexual tension in the room with a knife.

“Only if you want it to be, Mister Spock.” The captain threw his coffee cup in the trash and made his way out without another word.

Bones coughed, finally breaking what was an awkward silence for him. “Looks like that went well…”

“You may leave,” Spock said, standing in awe. 

“You can thank us later!” Pavel clapped his hands together before getting up. “Good luck tonight, Spock!”

Bones ushered his excited boyfriend out of the mess. “Maybe he’ll be less robotic now.”

“Aw, you do have a heart when it comes to Spock.” Pavel teased.

“So… What was that earlier about you findin’ Spock charming?” 

The younger man shrugged, but he couldn’t deny the tint on his cheeks. “I can’t be honest with my friends about their attractive personality traits?”  
Bones rolled his eyes and smiled. “Your crush is safe with me.”

It was Pavel’s turn to roll his eyes. “I’m beginning to think you’re jealous, or down for a really frustrating threesome.”

“I’m not the sharin’ type, darlin’,” Mccoy wrapped an arm around the younger man’s waist as they walked.

The two men walked in silence, up until they made it back to Pavel’s quarters. As they walked through the doors Pavel looked up at him. “Prove it”

Mccoy raised an eyebrow. “What’re you on about?”

“What you said earlier, prove it.” He grinned, taking a step closer to the couch and looking back at the older man. 

“Oh? ….Oh” He took a step towards his boyfriend, but the younger man fell back into the couch away from him.

He looked up at Mccoy expectantly. “...Well?” The young Russian was already slipping out of his clothes. “Some time today, Leo.” He taunted.

~

Pavel panted, face inelegantly stuck to a pillow, half from sweat and the other from drool. 

“Did I prove it, Pasha?” He said smugly, hands tracing his partner's waist up and down as he spoke. 

“Don’t make me use… words.” He lazily rolled his hand in the air as if to punctuate his inability to function. 

From his place on the younger man’s back, Leonard could see the green slowly fading up his arms. “I’m taking credit for that.”

“Thank you, doctor, I’m cured,” Pavel spoke, finally catching his breath.


	4. Kiss me, Dammit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a very Spirk-y chapter. Chekov makes a short cameo. Bones is mentioned once.
> 
> Heavy feels ahead, also asteroid clusters. Sulu does his job.

Spock stood on the bridge, arms clasped behind his back as he peered over an ensign’s shoulder. “Adjust those coordinates, Ensign. Your numbers are slightly off, otherwise very good.” He encouraged before walking over to Uhura. 

“If you witness another mistake from Ensign Christof make the Captain or myself aware. He may need further training.” 

“Of course, Commander.” She nodded, focused on her station. 

Spock glanced at the Captain’s chair, trying to pull his Vulcan ideals to the forefront of his brain. He was sure there was a chance that he was becoming so preoccupied with the Captain that he may be unable to perform his duties; he found the notion that he was capable of such an act greatly disturbing.

“Mister Spock, How’s Ensign Christof doing over there?” The Captain spoke, jarring the Vulcan from his thoughts. 

“A few minor miscalculations here and there, but he was able to correct them himself. He’s doing just fine today, Captain.” 

“There isn’t room for miscalculation in navigation.” Kirk began, soon realizing how harsh that must’ve sounded. “Christof?”

“Yes, Captain?” The young man spoke, obviously nervous about directly addressing his superior officer. 

“Would you mind meeting with Lieutenant Chekov for further training? I believe that Chekov may have a little more insight working with you, considering his similar start here. Of course, this is up to you as it is extra training.”

“I would like that, Thank you, Captain.” 

“Mister Spock, would you mind accompanying him to the Observation deck while I alert my Lieutenant of this impromptu training session?”

“Of course, Captain.” Spock nodded and waved the ensign to follow him. “Follow me, Mister Christof.” 

As soon as the two men disappeared into the turbo lift the Captain let out a breath. He cautiously looked around at his crew. Luckily everyone was too busy to notice.

He’d almost instantly relaxed into his chair, thankful to be in silence for once on this starship. 

“Captain, an asteroid is heading right for us. It is approximately 2.1 kilometers away from us, and is approaching fast.” Sulu spoke clearly as he pressed a few buttons at his center.

“Sulu, do you think you can go over it?”

“Maybe, sir, but we don’t have much time to act.” Just as he finished the last word a piece of the asteroid broke off and rocketed into the ship.

The Captain pressed the com button. “Phasers at the ready.”

Scotty’s voice sounded not but a second later. “Aye, Phasers ready, Captain.”

“Uhura, Alert the ship we’re heading into an asteroid cluster. We’re in no immediate danger.” James spoke before turning to his navigator. “Fire phasers, Mr. Sulu. Everybody brace for contact.”

“Firing Phasers, Captain.” He pressed a few buttons. 

The ship shook as a few small pieces of the rock flew into it. 

After a few moments, Sulu turned back to look at the Captain. “All clear, sir. Permission to continue ahead?”

“Permission granted, the same course of action if we run into another one,” Kirk said, getting out of his chair. “Damn…” He exclaimed to himself, realizing he’d never gotten the chance to call the Lieutenant. He pressed the com on his chair. “Kirk to Mister Spock, were you able to find Mister Chekov?”

“Yes, Captain. I was able to contact Lieutenant Chekov. Are we through the asteroid cluster?”

“Not quite, but I trust Sulu will get us through unharmed. I will be down soon to observe training. Kirk out.” He released the com. “Keep us safe, Mister Sulu.” He gave a smile before stepping into the lift. 

He took this short time to stretch out his arms and reflect on the last few days. The Captain dropped his arms at his side, leaving against the lift wall. He’d recognized his crew was slowly changing, and mostly, these changes weren’t for the better. They would argue and give themselves freedoms on missions. Kirk knew he wasn’t an angel either, he treated their last mission more like shore leave.

He thought that maybe the cracks in the ecosystem he’d been running all stemmed from a very common human reaction, stress. 

The turbo lift doors opened before him, jarring the captain out of his daze. He soon found his Lieutenant sitting with Christof and Commander Spock going over how to feed coordinates into the ship’s system. 

“How’s it going down here?”

“He is doing very well, Captain.” Chekov spoke, “As it turns out he’s just nervous. Christof knows the ships interworkings very well.”

“Perhaps this is something that we could use the good doctor’s expertise for…” Kirk suggested, “Anxiety is a totally normal thing to have, especially aboard this starship. Why don’t you head down to medbay and take the rest of the day for yourself, Ensign.”

“Thank you, Captain.” The ensign headed out of the room.

“Thank you, Chekov for coming down here on such short notice.”

“It is no problem, Captain. It was nice to help out another young cadet.”

“I want you to stick close to this kid, Chekov. He seems to trust you and he definitely needs guidance aboard my ship.”

“I’ll do my best, sir.” Chekov nodded. “Permission to return to my duties for the day?”

“Take the rest of the day off, Lieutenant.”

It wasn’t much longer before the Captain found himself alone with Spock. He shifted on his feet awkwardly before speaking. “That did happen, right?”

“I’m afraid you are going to need to elaborate, Captain.” Spock kept his tone even, his frame standing straight and tall. 

Just looking at the Vulcan, standing there as if all was normal, made Kirk want to rescind his statement. “...This morning, Spock.”

“Oh…” Spock said, recalling the morning’s events. “Yes, I do believe you kissed me this morning.” The Vulcan’s cheeks tinged green as he looked at the captain. 

The captain wished he knew where his previous courage had run off to because he certainly no longer had it. He felt like a hopeless teenager in the presence of his commander and friend. 

“Do you regret the action, Captain?” Spock spoke up, making the Captain realize how long he’d been silent for.

“Of course not,” Kirk said instantly. He then became self-conscious about his swift reply just as fast. “Do you, Spock?”

Spock tapped his index finger to his chin as if thinking it over. He waited a moment before speaking. “I found the kiss to be pleasurable, Captain.”

Kirk found himself blushing all over again. The blunt honesty coming from his crewman dared his mind to play out other scenarios. He cleared his throat. “Well, what do we do now? Where do we go from here, Spock?”

Spock closed the gap between them, setting his hands on the captain’s arms. “I believe this to be the most logical answer, Captain.” He pulled Kirk in for another kiss.

The captain squeaked, not used to being the one being kissed. Though it didn’t take him long to relax into the Vulcan’s arms. He felt one of Spock’s hands snake onto his back, pushing their chests together. The captain’s back quickly and carefully pressed into a wall.

Within seconds it all came to a halt. Spock looked into his eyes, carefully examining them for any sign of distress. “Would you like me to stop, James?”

“That would be illogical, Mister Spock.” He reached out his free hand to cup Spock’s face. The two stood there, looking into each other’s eyes, trying to sort out all of these new strange emotions. “I said kiss me, dammit.” The Captain was almost breathless. 

Spock quickly obliged the request, diving back in to capture Kirk’s lips.

“Sulu to Captain Kirk.” A voice rang through the com.

Kirk wanted to ignore it, but he knew better than that. He hummed into the kiss before breaking it, content to stay in Spock’s arms as he reached for the com button. “Kirk here.”

“We have successfully cleared the asteroid cluster, Captain.”

“Great work Mister Sulu. Set course for federation space. Kirk out.” He released the button with a sigh. 

“Would you accompany me to my quarters, Captain?”

“...It’s James.” Kirk grinned. “We’re not on the bridge anymore, Spock.”

“I am afraid James does not suit you…” He spoke, slipping back into his normal self.  
“Oh?” Kirk raised an eyebrow. “...and what would you like to call me?”  
“I am fond of Captain, but that seems to be inappropriate in this context. James is too formal. What about Jim?”

“Jim” Kirk repeated. “That sounds fine.”

“So, will you accompany me, Jim?” Spock asked. 

“As much as I hate to say it, maybe we shouldn’t be visiting each other’s quarters quite yet. Truthfully, I’m having a hard time not jumping into this too fast ...and whatever this is I don’t want to ruin it.” 

“That is understandable, Jim.” Spock leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “My duties are not fully completed on the bridge, please excuse me.” He turned to leave.

“Spock…” The captain called after him.

“Yes, Captain?”

“You’ll still come to the observatory tonight, right?”

Spock smiled to himself. “I will be there, “ He walked through the doors to the hall.


	5. to boldy come and go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Kirk finally meet in the Observatory. 
> 
> Pavel finds out that he actually does have a small crush on Spock.
> 
> Mccoy is uncomfortable about a lot of things on this ship.
> 
> ~
> 
> This is the first thing I've written in 2020. 
> 
> Happy New Year! (and allow me to apologize in advance)

The Captain wished he could say that the day ran by him, with lightning speed, after his moment with Spock earlier, but he’d be lying. The day dragged by like a hangover. Jim tried to bury himself in his logs, waste those last few hours until he could see Spock again, but it was no use. Time didn’t tick by any faster and that only served to wear on his nerves. 

Finally, Jim looks down at his computer for the last time. The clock finally showed him what he’d been waiting to see; time to go. The captain stood ungraciously, stretching away the discomfort that age and paperwork seem to bring him. 

It didn’t take the captain long to freshen up, changing into his civvies before nearly barreling out of his office. He wasn’t sure if these palpitations were from anxiety or excitement; all the captain knew was he wanted to see his Commander again and sooner than later. He practically bounced on his feet as he walked through the doors to the observatory. 

He combed his fingers through his hair, coming to a complete stop. This was anxiety, the captain came to realize. The endless rattling in his chest and shaking hands, that he’d just noticed, were stressed. For once the captain felt too casual, underdressed and over-excited. 

“Jim.” The voice traveled through the captain’s ears, startling him. “I’m at the bar, Jim.” Spock called over. 

The captain followed his voice, silently begging himself not to trip over air; not that this was something he’d ever done. “Spock…” If he were crazy he would’ve sworn there was a smirk hanging in this silence, but he’s not sure he’d ever seen much more than a brow raise from his first officer. The idea alone made him fidget with his hands.

Spock was in fact smirking, eyes taking in the whole of Jim Kirk standing there in a black t-shirt. It made him feel young again as if they were cadets meeting for the first time. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face all these feelings, but he would try for Jim. “Come sit, let’s talk.” He patted the stool beside him. 

“That’s a good look on you.” Jim managed, confidently. He took his seat beside Spock, admiring this side of the Vulcan that’s so new to him. 

The Vulcan’s eyes lost him for the stars beyond the observatory window. “I’m afraid I do not understand.” 

“Emotions, Spock,” Jim spoke, studying Spock’s profile. “They suit you.”

“Oh?” Spock reached down for his glass. He lost his thoughts in a sip, He spoke as he set the glass down. “It’s just water.”

Kirk nodded to acknowledge the statement or more so acknowledging the attempt to change the subject. “Any second thoughts…?”

“No,” Spock said quickly. “I have never wanted to be this close to someone, Jim. I do not understand how to proceed.”

Jim smiled to himself as he got up. He held his hand out to the Vulcan. “Come on.” He nodded towards the window. 

Spock raised an eyebrow, curious to know what Jim is up to. He allowed himself to be lead to the window. 

Jim sat down on the carpeted floor with Spock, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Tell me what you’re thinking…” 

The Vulcan leaned into his human friend. “I feel strange, Jim. I feel there is a possibility I am feeling anxiety, but I am not uncomfortable.”

“Me too.”

Spock tilted his head up to look at Jim. “That is unusual for you.”

“...think so?”

“You always seem so confident.”

Jim let himself fall back into the floor, taking Spock with him. “Would you believe I’m always a ball of nerves?”

“Well, it would be illogical to lie.” He spoke, not at all bothered by falling into the captain’s chest. “Why haven’t you told me this before?” 

“It doesn’t put a crew at ease to hear their captain is anxious, does it?” He sighed. 

Spock propped himself up on his arms over Jim. “Perhaps next time you’re feeling anxious tell me?” He pressed a chaste kiss to the captain’s lips. “I think humans call it sharing the load…”

“I’ll do that.” Jim gave him a soft smile, pushing himself up into the Vulcan for another kiss. He caressed Spock’s cheek, fingers slowly making their way through his hair and over the tip of his ear. 

Spock broke the kiss and sat up wordlessly.

“Is something wrong?” Jim pushed himself up to sit.  
The Vulcan shook his head. “It isn’t anything you did.” He took a deep breath. “I am overwhelmed.”

Jim touched his shoulder. “It’s okay, we can call it a night, Spock.”

“Thank you for understanding..,” Spock stood up, he felt as if Jim was trying to short circuit his brain just by existing. He’d never had a reason to process these emotions, those he’d once classified as useless. “I ...like you, Jim.”

“I like you, Spock.” Jim smiled up at him. “Goodnight.” He let himself fall back into the carpeting with a sign. He could hear the doors closing behind Spock as he left. 

~

Spock felt as if the whole night lasted only a few seconds. If it weren’t for the fact that the previous statement was completely illogical, he’d believe it. He barely remembered getting dressed and leaving this morning. Approaching the lift he yawned, rubbing his eyes as he waited for the doors to open. 

This felt human, too close for comfort. This very moment, exhaustion, emotional strain; it was exactly what he’d witness from his human friends. It was also the very thing he’d promise himself he’d never let take him over. 

The lift doors opened in front of him to reveal Lieutenant Chekov. “Goodmorning, Commander.” 

“Chekov” Spock nodded as he stepped into the lift. “To the bridge, please.”

The younger man pushed a few buttons. “So.. how’d it all go?”

“I think it went well,” Spock gave a shrug, every bit as unsure of himself as he was last night.

“That’s great, Spock. You two look nice together.” Pavel knew he meant well, but his words dropped out of his mouth and crashed onto the floor. 

The doors opened before Spock could reply. “We’ll finish this conversation later.”

“Of course, Commander.” He nodded, leaning against the lift wall as Spock left. The doors closed, allowing Pavel the privacy to sink back into himself. He held his forehead as a string of “Shit, shit, shit, shit.” fell from his lips. Each one blunt, yet calm, pouring from him. As if he were hit by the infamous brick of realization. 

The lift doors slid open, startling the Lieutenant. He let his hand fall to his side as he left the lift. He contemplated visiting Leonard in the medbay, almost sure the weirdness he was feeling would dissipate the moment he would witness his boyfriend at work. Maybe his heart just forgot what his brain already knew. Though, he didn’t want to fully admit that to himself either.

Pavel’s feet followed his brain, taking him to medbay; hoping his boyfriend wasn’t too busy to talk. He walked through the doors with a smile, looking around for Leonard.

“Goddammit!” Leonard exclaimed from behind the curtain. He seemed to take a moment to calm himself before continuing. “So sick of training these damn ensigns.”

Pavel pulled back the curtain. “Leo? What’s wrong?”

“Christoff mixed up the patient records, again.” He said as he sorted through folders. “I know its a little archaic, but our system keeps malfunctioning so we need some kind of a backup.”

The younger man put his hands over the stack of papers. “Let me do this, you go do whatever it is that’s actually on your duty list.” He offered a smile and a kiss on the doctor’s cheek.

“What would I do without you?” The doctor grinned, giving Pavel a quick hug.

“Suffer, probably.” He winked. “Love you, Leo. Now go work.” He playfully shoved him towards his office. “Oh wait!” The younger man called out, “Are you coming to me tonight or am I coming to you?”

“I’ll come to you.” He answered as he stepped through his office door, only to turn around a few seconds later and poke his head out. “I love you too, Pasha.”

Pavel grinned to himself as he sorted patient files. “Get to work, dork.” 

As it turns out, he was kind of right. Being around Leonard did help rid him of whatever strange feelings were plaguing him, but not in its entirety. There were still residuals hanging around somewhere in his stomach, though it could be guilt. He wasn’t sure. 

He’d just have to focus on sorting for now. About an hour had passed when he heard footsteps coming towards the table. Without looking up he spoke, “Done already, Leo?”

“Doctor Mccoy send me in here to help, sir.” Ensign Christof spoke up. “I’m sorry, paper filing is very confusing…”

“You’re right, its a pain in the ass.” He smirked, still not looking up at the Ensign. “...but we need a written backup for when the system goes down.”

Christof seemed to relax a bit. “That makes sense, sir.”

“Pavel.” He said, putting the last file in place. 

“...Pavel” He repeated. 

“Believe it or not, I used to be the youngest person on this ship. It’s weird hearing ‘sir’ all the time.”

“Oh….” Christof picked up the stack of papers. “You can call me Maxim, s-Pavel.” 

“You know where the doctor keeps those, right?”

“I was just going to set them in his office. He never told me where to put them.”

Pavel held out his hands. “I’ll put them away, you go ahead and help Chapel for the rest of the day.” He gently took the stack of papers. “She’ll be less of a thorn in your ass.” He gave a fleeting grin.

Christof seemed surprised at Pavel’s understanding. “Thank you.”

“He’s not a bad guy, Maxim. He’s just got a rough disposition at first.”

“So you’re saying he’ll warm up to me?”

“Eventually, yes.” Pavel carefully walked through the doors to Leonard’s office. He set the files on his boyfriend’s desk. “You need to stop being such a hardass.”

Leonard sat back in his chair. “That kid hasn’t gotten anything right since he’s been here.”

“I was just as much of a mess when I first got here. It’s a big transition, and Starfleet pulled that kid out of highschool he was so damn smart. Give the kid a break.”

When Leonard didn’t respond, Pavel kept going. “Christof is a good kid. He’s the youngest person on this ship and he needs to be given the same kind of encouraging environment that I had.” The younger man paused for a moment realizing Leonard wasn’t speaking because he was actually at a loss for words, not just out of stubbornness. “Oh…”

Leonard cleared his throat. “Pasha, I don’t want to be anywhere near Ensign Christof.”

“What’re you talking about?” Pavel took a seat, the strangeness in his stomach turning to jealousy. His legs felt weak, fearing the worst. He could see the discomfort radiating off of Leonard. “Leo, what are you speaking about?” He urged.

“There’s rumors goin’ around…” Leonard looked down at his hands which were folded, uncomfortably fidgeting on the desk. “I’m not like that.”

Pavel couldn’t stop the words from erupting from his mouth. “Are they just rumors?” He quickly covered his mouth. He knew that was the work of paranoia, pointless jealousy. The younger man thought he’d worked through this, but perhaps the current events were effecting him a little more than he’d originally thought. “Leo, I’m so-”

“I can’t believe you don’t know me better than that.” Leonard’s face was stuck somewhere between shock and disappointment. “You should go.”

Pavel emotionally froze, his brain essentially throwing in the towel. He rose from the chair. “..I didn’t mean it.”

“You were the last person I would’ve thought would buy into this shit.” Leonard’s expression hadn’t moved. “Please just leave.”

~

Leonard’s shift had been over for hours, but there he was sitting in his office second-guessing every choice he’d ever made since joining Starfleet. Mostly, he was second-guessing Pavel. 

Being on a starship in the middle of space, it’s hard having a private personal life. As soon as he started dating Pavel, the whole ship knew. Of course, they all had something to say, but Pavel was happy and he knew he’d give up more than that just to keep Pavel happy. 

He can’t say everything he ever did was for Pavel because that wasn’t true. They were both very career-oriented, working hard to build their own lives, but still made time for each other. They both still had separate living spaces, nor did they see each other every day. 

Despite not being stuck at the hip, Leonard still believed Pasha knew him better than this. 

It wasn’t that Leonard was giving up, but he felt that he’d just wasted ten years. The thought made him sick.


	6. Everybody's Issue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxim seeks out advice from Pavel.
> 
> Pavel learns about taking responsibility.
> 
> Things turn out...ish?

Pavel woke up to the chime of his doorbell. He lazily pressed the com button. “Who is it?”

“I didn’t know who else I could talk to…” Maxim Christof’s voice came through the small speaker. 

Pavel groaned to himself, not this kid, not now. “Come in.” He said despite himself, dragging himself out of bed. “What happened?”

“It’s awkward but…” He trailed off for a second, clearly uncomfortable with whatever he was about to say. “The other Ensigns are asking me if I’ve slept with the doctor.” His eyes didn’t meet Pavel’s. “I tried telling Mccoy that I wanted to transfer off this ship, but he sent me away saying I’d just end up ruining my future over a couple of punks.”

Pavel waved the Ensign to follow him as he walked into the kitchen. He immediately went for his replicator and pressed a few buttons. Two cups of coffee appeared. “You might want to sit down, we’re about to have a long talk.” He slid one of the mugs over to Maxim. 

After both men took their seats Pavel spoke. “Starfleet did the same thing to me that they did to you, pulled me right out of highschool a week after touring the academy. I was seventeen and all these people kept calling me a genius and that I was some kind of mastermind. To be honest with you, I didn’t feel like I was any of those things. I felt normal and just wanted to fit in aboard this ship.” He took a sip of his coffee, Maxim was looking at him like he looked up to him. It was weird, as Pavel really never felt like an adult, nor someone to be looked up to. Yet here they were, Pavel, the adult, being an adult. 

“I pretty much knew Leonard since I got here, as I had to take a three-day fitness test. Im sure you probably had to take the same one, so you know how that works...but anyway. We barely spoke for the first six months I was aboard.” Pavel tapped his fingers against the table, stalling a bit, as if he were about to drop a bomb. “We started dating just before my 18th birthday, and a lot of people didn’t agree with that. I was still working with my English at the time, too.”

“Is this why they think I am with him too…?” Maxim asked, voice barely audible. "...because of my situation?"

“I thought the ship was over this already. Maxim, I’m 27 now. It’s been nearly ten years. Look, I agree with Leo. Don’t ruin your future over some punks as they most likely won’t make it on this ship for very long.”

“Yes, but it seemed to follow you. What if this rumor follows me?”

“The Captain is not going to allow some baseless rumor ruin your career. However, leaving would probably do that.” Pavel set his mug down. “You’re a good kid. Don’t let a bunch of people you barely know project their issues onto you. They’re just upset with themselves; chances are they know you’re talented and can get any spot on this ship before they could.” 

Maxim just looked down at the mug in his hands. "I will stay…" He pushed his mug back and forth on the table. "Will you tell me what gave you enough confidence to talk to your crewmates?"

"You're doing that right now, Maxim. I am no different than the commander or captain."

"I suppose…" 

Pavel's com beeped with a "Pavel it's me, you home?"

"Shit," He groaned. "Maxim go ahead home. Get some rest, I'm sure the Captains got another early morning planned for you" He waved him off and answered his com. "Leo, I don't know why I said what I did."

"You're a jealous ass, that's why." 

Pavel rubbed his temples."I know that… What I said was beyond awful."

McCoy went silent for a moment. Pavel could hear a clink of a glass hitting a table, probably his nightstand. "..why are you agreeing with me?" 

"I am self aware enough to realize when I've made a mistake, Leo."

"So, you do trust me?" 

"Yes! Of course I do." Pavel sounded exasperated. "Sometimes I get insecure and I say stupid things before I can think about it. I know I do it and I know it's not fair to you. And I am so sorry, Leo. I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have kicked you out of my office."

Pavel sighed. "I'm coming over, you're slurring." He released his com button and got up. 

~

Leonard pretty much passed out as soon as he signed off the com. A bottle of bourbon laid discarded on his bedside table, on its side and empty. 

He didn't hear the front doors open, nor the footsteps leading up to his bed. 

Pavel just sighed upon seeing the scene in front of him. He felt like the world's largest jackass getting jealous of a seventeen-year-old like that. He gently laid the blanket up over Leonard's shoulders before grabbing the empty bottle. He gingerly put the bottle in the trash before getting a glass and filling it with water. He searched the cabinets for an asprin, eventually finding it at the very back of the shelf. 

He brought those two things to Leonard's bedside and returned to the kitchen to make some coffee. Pavel planned to wait for him to wake up, not that he could sleep now if he tried.

He wasn't sure how many cups of coffee he'd went through or how much time he spent zoned out, but by the time he looked up Leonard was standing in the doorway.

There was just a pair of boxers standing between the doctor and indecency. He leaned against the door frame, watching Pavel. "You look like hell." Where the only words he could offer.

"You too." Pavel turned his chair to him. "Can we promise each other to never do this again?"

Leonard didn't say a word as he crossed the room to him. He sat down, taking a sip from Pavel's coffee. "Whatever possessed you to believe I’d do that to you, I never want to see that in you again.” 

“I don’t either…” Pavel leaned into the doctor, who seemed to wince at his touch. This felt different, in a sickening way Pavel never thought he’d have to feel. “I love you, Leo.”

“Do you feel like you’re stuck with me?” Was the abrupt answer Pavel didn’t expect or want. Leonard didn’t wrap his arms around the younger man, an instinct abandoned in favor of self-doubt. 

Pavel sat up in his chair. “...if that’s how I felt, Leo, I would’ve left already.” 

“That’s what they think, and you know, if this was anybody else an’ I was just lookin’ from the outside, I’d believe ‘em.”

“Oh, no.” Pavel took Leonard’s face in his hands. “Don’t you dare.” His voice was harsh, although low. “Listen to me, Lyonya, goddammit. I KNOW that you love me, and frankly I cannot imagine going a day without you. I have my own brain and I am very sure you’re not doing the thinking for me.”

Leonard finally collapsed into the younger man, arms sliding around him into a vice, latching on as if he might slip away. “I love you more than I’ve loved anyone, but god, Pasha if you ever decide this is wrong… if you don’t love me anymore, don’t feel like you have to stay.”

“That’s never going to happen.” Pavel let his hand drop and rested his head on Leonard’s shoulder. “I think we should move in together.” He blurted out. “I wanna make your coffee in the mornings and I want to come home to you, Leo.”

The doctor let go of him. “You’re sure?”

Pavel nodded, grinning. “Of course”

Leonard returned his smile. “Come back to bed with me? It’s still pretty early.”

"Are you too drunk to carry me?" Pavel looked up at him, wrapping his hands around his neck.

Leonard snorted a laugh and hoisted the younger man into his arms. "Probably," He wobbled slightly, taking careful steps as he walked back to the bed.

The two just sort of fell into the mattress with a thud. 

"I love you, Pasha" Leonard mumbled before the soft sheets coaxed him into sleep. 

There it was again, that sinking feeling. Guilt rising above it all as he thought of Spock. The younger man shifted uncomfortablely; feeling undeserving of the love he shares with Leonard.

This was a hard line, that was already discussed. 

Leonard isn't the sharing type. 

Pavel shook his head as if that would clear his mind. In a desperate attempt to escape himself, he closed his eyes, letting the days stress turn into exhaustion and slowly pull him away from consciousness.


	7. a lesson in verbiage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Jim help Pavel move. 
> 
> &
> 
> Leonard learns Pavel has a fetish.
> 
> Shits complicated.

It was only a few days later when Pavel found himself carrying a box of clothes through the barrier of Leonard's quarters. He watched as his boyfriend carried a small dresser across the room. 

Pavel crossed the room to set the box atop the dresser. He smiled at Leonard, feeling giddy. "You think you can handle me full time?" 

Leonard feigned thought, tapping his chin. "That depends on if you're gonna make me move more furniture…"

"Are you telling me that my strong man cannot handle it?" Pavel laid on his accent thick and watched Leonard try to fight back a blush. He ghosted his fingertips along the older man's bicep. "I promise that was the last thing. Its just boxes now."

The door chimed.

The doctor cleared his throat. "Come in." He managed to speak clearly.

Pavel pouted at him for a moment, that is until Spock and the captain emerged from the living room. 

"We thought you guys might need some help." Kirk had his arms wrapped around Spock's waist. "Tell us what to do."

"We were actually on our way back to Pavel's to pick up the last couple boxes." Leonard spoke up. 

"Pavel why don't you stay back here with Spock and organize. Bones and I will go get your stuff," The captain spoke, obviously happy to help his friends. 

"Sure," He shrugged, remaining casual even though he could think of a million things wrong with that plan. 

"Perfect!" The captain clapped before ushering his friend towards the door. "We'll be back before you can say thank you!" 

The doors closed behind the two men, leaving Pavel alone with the big green elephant in the room. 

The younger man pulled a uniform shirt from the box and began folding it.

"You should hang those up." Spock spoke, pulling another shirt from the box. It was blue and a little ratty around the hems. 

Pavel set his shirt in the drawer half-folded in favor of snatching the old uniform shirt away. "Don't touch that." 

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Apologies…"

The Lieutenant laid the shirt on his side of the bed. "No, it's fine. It's just the first thing Leo ever gave me." There was a pink tint to his cheeks. "It has been on my bed ever since." 

"Oh…" Spock nodded. "I suppose that is...sweet." He left the box of clothes in favor of tidying up their bed. Pavel's blankets had little cartoon planets on them. The Vulcan grinned, the more he knew about Pavel the more he found himself wanting to learn. 

Pavel tried his best to bottle his embarrassment, as his generally private nature wasn't used to his friends digging through his personal items. Maybe Leonard was a bit more open than him. Though he probably had to be, with a friend like James Kirk. 

The silence was starting to get to the younger man. He forced himself to speak, "I know I can be childish…" 

The Vulcan shrugged, slipping into his human half with ease. "This is not uncommon. Jim has stuffed animals. I've learned that having items like this can be therapeutic." 

Pavel nodded, determined to move this conversation onto literally anything else, "So how are you and the captain doing?"

"It is going, okay." Spock quickly followed up with, "We are very comfortable."

"Comfortable is good, very safe." He spoke, guilt unfurling low within himself. "There is nothing wrong with being comfortable." He rambled on.

"Am I reading this correctly?" Spock stopped him mid-ramble, abruptly dropping the blanket in his hands. 

"There's nothing to read." Pavel said, trying to keep his body from shaking his soul out. 

"...you're nervous." The Vulcan observed. 

"Perfectly fine…" He said harshly, turning away from Spock. 

Spock let the silence swirl around the room for a moment, as if to pretend the tension wasn't palpable in this room, in his friend's bedroom. 

"It isn't fair that you're doing this right now." Pavel broke the silence, suddenly worried he was imagining this tension. 

And as if god himself were watching; Leonard had returned with the last of his boxes in tow. 

Pavel instantly moved to help him, taking a box off the top. "Leo, can we finish unpacking later?"

The older man looked a little confused, but nodded anyway. "Of course, what's wrong?"

"It is nothing, I would just like to be alone with you."

Leonard's eyes flicked to Spock for a moment, who seemed to be his usual self. "Thank you guys for the help, but I don't think Pavel's feeling well right now."

Spock glanced over at Pavel. "I hope you get well soon, Lieutenant." 

"Jim's still in the livingroom sorting boxes."

The Vulcan nodded. "See you on the bridge" He left the room.

"What the hell was that?" Leonard watched him leave. "What happened?"

The younger man shook his head and leaned into Leonard. "Nothing, he's just having a hard time with his own emotions." 

Leonard wasn't going to push it. He trusted Pavel. "It does look pretty good in here. I like seeing your stuff by mine…" He wrapped an arm around him. "Is that my shirt?" 

"Oh, um… yes. Sometimes I sleep with it when you're working late." He blushed, hiding his face in his shoulder. 

"I can't believe you kept that." The doctor let go of Pavel and moved towards his closet. He began to dig through it. "Here, this isn't as beat up...and I'd like to see you wear it around."

Before Leonard could even turn around Pavel had slipped out of his clothes and was sitting expectantly on the bed. "Toss it." He held his hands out to catch the shirt. 

The older man turned around holding the shirt. "Second thought….I think I'll keep it." He looked at him up and down. 

Pavel rolled his eyes. "Come on, its cold." He got up and tried to take it, but Leonard held it out of his reach. The younger man looked up at Leonard, eyes fixed on his, "Papa, please?" His voice was low and intense. There was something about being this close, sharing a space that made Pavel braver.

..and that hit Leonard like a truck. He dropped the shirt. "Jesus Christ." He spoke like he'd just ran a marathon. 

Pavel instantly felt self conscious, ready to hide in the closet beside them. "I don't know why I-"

"You can't just throw that at somebody." He spoke, finally, after his brain decided to allow him to gather the words. "I'm not mad. We just need to talk about this." 

Leonard lead him over to the bed to sit. "Where'd this come from?" 

Pavel pulled his blanket over himself as he sat down. Once he felt secure enough he spoke. "...you just make me feel really safe and taken care of. I really didn't mean to lay this one you. I didn't want to say it at all."

"Part of you did." Leonard played with the idea for a little while, thinking about that word, more specifically the dynamic they could be entering. It's not like he's never heard of this before. It's just that he'd never thought he'd experience it. Though he's never given much thought about it at all. "Pasha…" He started sweetly. "Say it again please…" It wasn't a question, nor a command. This was a gentle suggestion, something Leonard would never give on a normal day. 

Something changed in Pavel as he looked at his boyfriend. "Papa, please can I have the shirt?"

Leonard felt dirty, leaning down to grab the fallen shirt from the floor. He gingerly pulled the older uniform shirt over his head. It didn't take much effort to pull the too-big shirt over Pavel's much smaller frame. The act nearly felt obscene with the way the younger man watched him closely. Leonard realized it was him looking for signs of discomfort. 

"We could try this…" Leonard spoke, pressing a gentle kiss to Pavel's forehead. This was definitely an avenue he needed to feel out first, before jumping in. The time when he was all too conscious of Pavel's age was long out the window, at least he thought.

No, this isn't like that. This doesn't have to be made weird.

The doctor took a deep breath. 

'Everybody has a fetish, it's fine.' He thought to himself. 

"You are uncomfortable…"

Just like that he crumbled. "You're right, I hate it. ...I'm sorry."

"Do not worry about it...its not important." Pavel offered a small smile. "We should finish unpacking."

"Actually, I... have to go in today." The doctor kissed his cheek before going to the closet. He slid on a work shirt. "I love you, Pasha." He said before leaving. 

Pavel leaned his head in his hands. He was terrified this was a mistake. Maybe the reason things have gone this slow isn't because they're careful, but because they don't fit together as well as they thought.

He looked at the boxes, unsure where to start, unsure if he even should start.

~

Leonard had just stepped out of his quarters, and he was already thinking of turning around. This wasn't fair to Pavel and he knew that, but he couldn't help the skin crawling feeling that word brought on him. 

He knows it was probably wrong to just leave him there.

Pavel was someone that he needs to protect. He needs to be loved and reassured.

And Leonard was someone that was slowly approaching the point, but he doesn't know that.


	8. this isn't pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pavel tries to visit a friend, it goes as expected. 
> 
> Leonard tries his hand as a psycho-analyst and ends up changing their entire relationship.

Pavel eventually managed to unpack his things, hoping Leonard wouldn’t come back and ask him to pack it all up again. 

He prodded his brain, trying to find what’s been making him like this. He knows he’s been off; filterless and speaking with no regard for Leonard’s feelings. And even though it’s by no means intentional, he knows that doesn’t excuse his actions.

What if he’s slowly changing the way Leonard sees him? 

The thought scared Pavel.

He pressed the com button. “Chekov to Engineering, Scotty are you free tonight?”

“Aye, what is it lad?” His cheery friend responded.

“I need a friend tonight.” He knew he sounded void of emotion, depressed. He knew he was on the verge of pushing Leonard away and that was very depressing to him.

“Can ye meet me down here in thirty minutes, Chekov?”

“Of course, I’ll bring the vodka.”

“You keep that dog water to yourself, lieutenant. Scotty out.”

Pavel budged a smile as he released the com.

~

Thirty minutes later Pavel walked through the doors to engineering. 

“Aye, laddie! It’s been a while.” Scotty’s smiling face greeted him. Two glasses of whiskey sat on his workbench. “Take a seat and a drink. Tell me your troubles, kid.” He walked Pavel back to his worktable.

As the two men sat down and grabbed their drinks, Pavel shot his back knowing he’d need to be a little loose to talk about this. “Leonard is slowly drifting away from me and it is my fault.”

Scotty’s face fell, smile gone like it’d never been there in the first place. “That’s not your fault, laddie. He’s probably out looking for another young bo-”

“I should’ve known better.” Pavel interrupted him. “I really thought I was fine, I did, and then Maxim came around and everybody started up again. Now Leonard doesn’t feel comfortable with the kid apprenticing him for his damned medical degree!” Pavel stood up, shakily pouring himself another glass. 

“We’re all just trying to protect you, just like we’re trying to protect Ensign Christof…” Scotty said gently.

“From your idea of Leonard?” He slammed back the drink before discarding the glass onto the table. “I wanted to talk to you, friend to friend, like we used to, but all you want to do is demonize the one stable good thing that’s happened to me on this fucking ship! I just needed a friend to help me figure out why I’ve been so different lately, but I think I know why. It’s been ten goddamn years and half of those that I’m supposed to trust think I’m some battered spouse with Stockholm syndrome.” Pavel finally managed to take a steady breath in an attempt to calm himself. “I’m sorry I even bothered.”

“I know you don’t like to hear it, but you were groomed, Pavel. I will be here for you until you realize that.” Scotty couldn’t look at him, as if Pavel were beyond repair, totally brainwashed.

“This was disappointing…” Pavel spoke, his voice a little calmer and collected. “Please stay away from Maxim as well as Leonard or myself. You will not be ruining my relationship or the Ensign’s career.” He stumbled out the door before Scotty had a chance to piss him off further.

It took a little extra effort walking back to his quarters than it did leaving, although that’s to be expected considering he’d just shot back two full glasses of whiskey. It wasn’t his greatest moment, but he’d been having a lot of those lately. 

When he reached the door he realized it was locked. He reached out an unsteady hand to the com button. “Leo?” He tried to maintain that mostly calm exterior he left Scotty with, but he’d already noticed his voice was shrinking. Pavel was essentially collapsing in on himself, always fearing the worst. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he believed all the shit Scotty and the others tried to feed him. It would stand to reason that if you’re having certain thoughts drilled into your head they’re going to leave some kind of impression.

And now Pavel was fighting himself for it. “Leo, open up.” His voice began to shake.

The doors opened, revealing Leonard, dressed down in shorts and a t-shirt. His brown hair laying in a mess on his head. “Pasha…” He sighed, sweeping the Lieutenant off his feet and into his arms. “Please tell me what’s bothering you.” Leonard’s voice was calm, his demeanor steady. He carried Pavel into their room.

Through blurred vision, Pavel could see that the bed had been completely remade. Leonard moved his bedset, the cartoon planets, to cover the entire bed instead of just taking up his side. Suddenly, he felt the soft sheets touching his back. Leonard must have put him down.

The bed dipped as the doctor sat on its edge. “You’ve been so different lately, I don’t know what to expect anymore. I don’t know how to make you happy…” Leonard wasn’t sure if he was speaking to Pavel or openly venting.

The younger man rolled to face him, instantly holding his head and regretting the action. “I do not want to push you away.” His drunken brain began the search for the right words, threatening to revert to his mother tongue instead. “Um…” He frowned. It has been a long time since he’d struggled with his English. “Uhh...da! That’s it! I think everyone becoming worried over Maxim has brought old emotions to me.” He hoped that made sense. “That feeling of… misunderstanding from everyone. Sometimes I am unsure how to act.”

“I understand,” Leonard spoke softly. “Go ahead ‘n sleep this off. It’ll be okay.” He pulled the covers over his boyfriend.

Leonard had a theory, and he knows he is by no means a therapist, but he’s known Pavel long enough to at least make an educated guess. 

Pavel saying that word, ‘papa’ seemed to be more a cry for stability than a kink. His need to drown out whatever thought was plaguing him manifested in something that would catch Leonard’s own attention and therefore moving Pavel’s attention with him. 

This still doesn’t mean the word didn’t scare the shit out of Leonard. The idea of that scenario escalating; this, as Leonard realized, is one of his few hard lines.

When Pavel finally woke up Leonard spoke, “Maybe you should take some time off… Jim would understand.”

The younger man only nodded his head, sometime in his sleep he’d found a little brown teddy bear that Leo had left for him, and he was currently holding it to his chest. The soft fur grazing his chin was calming, nearly sobering. 

Leonard looked over his form in the blankets, all the way up to his messy hair. He reached out and brush the hair out of his face. “Everything is going to be okay.” 

“I’m sorry I’m like this.” Suddenly, he was looking at Leonard. His body shifted uncomfortably between the covers as if the possibility of judgment was too much for him.

The doctor laid beside him, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m not sorry about you.” For once, he understood. 

Leonard understands how he deals with things; knows how his mind works. If he can’t get rid of something uncomfortable with tact alone, he’ll scare it away.   
Pavel doesn’t do that.

Pavel crumbles, because he’s unsure, and he really wants to be wrong so everyone else can be right. And it doesn’t matter the subject. He just doesn’t want to hurt their feelings.

Leonard’s pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that Pavel’s been spoonfed his lines since he was eligible to even tour this ship. And of course, they’ve talked about this and Pavel would say something about his parents just wanting the best for him. How would he know what to do or say so he didn’t mess up an opportunity like Starfleet.

What Pavel didn’t know was Leonard’s first encounter with the captain was a warning. “I might throw up on you.” And from there a string of angry rambling about diseases, once he realized he’d have to keep that idiot alive. From day one Starfleet knew Leonard Mccoy.

He just wished they knew Pavel Chekov.

The man’s a genius and that’s about as far as they got. 

“I talked to Scotty today…” Pavel managed. “I miss having friends, Leo.”

“What about Jim an’ Spock?”

Pavel’s face dipped under the blanket. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Is this about this morning?” Leonard carefully asked. “You can tell me…” When there was no response Leonard pulled back the blanket.

Pavel’s eyes darted above his boyfriend’s head in favor of looking at him. “I accidentally gave Spock the wrong impression.” He said quickly. “Nothing happened.”

The doctor sat back against the headboard. “Did you give him the wrong impression, or do you want to be wrong because you think it will save him from something?”

The younger man didn’t take well to being read like that. “Do not.” He said harshly, words commanding authority, booming out of his throat.

The words fell short of hitting Leonard because he damn well knew better. And he’d tell him that too if he didn’t think it’d escalate things. 

“I know how you feel about Spock. I didn’t think it was important, but its starting to seem like it is.” His tone was even, despite being unsure of himself. He doesn’t know if he’s opening their relationship or losing Pavel to another open relationship. He doesn’t even know if he’s okay with any of this. He took a deep breath. “Maybe we should explore this.”


	9. something impersonal and green

Leonard sat behind his desk, resigned to his job as paper-pusher for the day. The day wasn’t supposed to start out like this, but Maxim really couldn’t fathom being unable to voice request patient files.

“Look, kid, one-a these days some Klingon warship is gonna knock out a generator. And then you’re gonna have to choose between keepin’ air on this ship or havin’ access to digital medical files. Ya need air and ya need to know how to treat your patients. Could damn well kill somebody givin’ ‘em a hypo they’re allergic too, otherwise.”

Maxim gave him a blank look before turning back to the files. It’s been three days, and while yes, he despises paper filing he can still do it if needed. Even so, he’s still been sitting through lecture after lecture about the importance of hard copies in the 22nd century. “Do you really care about the files, Doctor, or is there something else bugging you?”

“I ain’t here to be psychoanalyzed by a teenager, Ensign.” He barely looked up from the spread of files before him. 

Ensign Christof placed his files back into the stack on the doctor’s desk. “I am not apprenticing to stare at paperwork and feel sorry for myself, doctor. I am apprenticing to be a doctor. Call me when there’s another surgery scheduled so I can stand in.” He stood up, straightening out his shirt.

Bones had to blink, the little jackass sounded exactly like Pavel. Either this was a Russian thing or those two had been spending way too much time together. At some point in his mild daze, that ‘jackass’ may have slipped out.

“Happy to be of service, Doctor.” The Ensign gave a dramatic bow before taking his exit.

The doctor just leaned into his hands, letting them side over his hair. 

As if the day couldn’t become any worse, his office doors opened to reveal Spock.

He sat up a little straighter in an attempt to hide the extent of his annoyance with the world. Although his face usually gave some of it away, Spock would probably think something was wrong if he didn’t look at least vaguely annoyed right now.

“Spock, to what do I owe this displeasure?” He quirked a grin at his friend. He’d like to think he uses that word loosely.

Spock only raised an eyebrow as he crossed the room. “I’m getting the impression that you’ve been avoiding me, doctor.”

“Now what gave you that idea? Was it the first time I avoided you in the mess hall, or the second time I avoided you on the bridge or was it the time I-”

“So you are avoiding me…” Spock took the seat across from Leonard. “Why?”

“Do you want the short answer?”

“I have the time for the long answer, but I don’t particularly want to put forth the effort to hear you for that long so I’ll take the shorter option.” The Vulcan narrowed his eyes.

The doctor set the spread of files back into the main stack as he spoke, “I’ve seen how you look at Pavel.” He cleared his throat. “...just like I’ve seen how he looks back.”

“Would I be correct in saying, you are afraid he will choose me over you?” Spock spoke carefully. “...because I would rather him choose us both.”

“I ain’t the sharin’ type…” The doctor’s voice was bordering on eerily calm. 

Spock knew there was something bubbling just under the surface, it was just about whether or not he was going to push him that far. “Why not? I think you’d do an exceptional job.” 

Bones almost couldn’t believe it. If it weren’t for the green tinge of the Vulcan’s cheeks, he wouldn’t. “...have you lost your Vulcan mind?!” His voice fell short of the booming authority he was intending.

“It is still very much in place, doctor.”

“What about Jim?” At this point, he was looking for any excuse to leave this conversation.

Spock set his focus on his hands, which were fidgeting with each other. “It seems we’ve gotten each other out of our systems. Those are not my words.”

The doctor felt a pang of something, not guilt, never guilt, in his chest for the Vulcan. “I, uh, can give you clearance to my quarters if you ever want to drop by,” He quickly added, “just to hang out… as friends.”

It was Spock’s turn to smirk. “You think of me as a friend?” 

“You’re pushing it, pointy.” And with that, Leonard left his own office in a desperate attempt to get out of that conversation. Not that he’d admit it, but his exit was mainly so nothing would happen, at least not before he’d talk to Pavel about it first.

Jesus Christ, he’d have to discuss this with Pavel.

Feelings were not a comfortable subject with Leonard H. Mccoy. Feelings were never a comfortable subject and as it is lately he’s been extremely uncomfortable with the amount of those damned things pouring out of him like he were a goddamned feelings reservoir.

Pavel is only the second person he’d ever poured his heart out to, and even then it was only after he’d dug through every last grumpy layer. 

There used to be a time where he could have been and was described as too nice.

There used to be a version of Leonard Mccoy that would pour his heart out to the first cheap version of America’s Sweetheart he'd come across. 

He got a wife that way.

Then he drank his way through a divorce.

That version of Leonard Mccoy had no earthly possessions left. He picked up the remnants of his self-esteem and decided to continue what he was good at in space.

And then, of course, there was Pavel, and here he is today questioning his life choices because Spock is interested in them both and up until twelve minutes ago he was sure they were just barely putting up with each other on this ship. 

Leonard turned the corner to his quarters, keeping up his pace until he was inside, far enough away from that pointy-eared problem. 

“You’re home early.” Pavel leaned over the back of the couch, practically beaming.

“You’re in a good mood.” The older man tried his best to mirror Pavel’s energy.

Unfortunately for him, Pavel’s smile fell. He noticed. “You’re not, what is wrong?”

“Just a rough day. That goddamned kid…” Leonard trailed off once he realized Pavel was most likely not buying it.

“Don’t try that with me.” 

“Shit.” He said under his breath. He made his way over to the couch and sat down. “Spock dropped into my office today.”

Pavel looked at him, patiently waiting for whatever his boyfriend was holding back from him. “Go on…”

“He’s interested in us.”

“Are you interested in him?” The younger man bit his lip, forcing himself to quell whatever reaction may bubble up before he gets his response.

“He’s an asshole!” Leonard exclaimed. “... an absolute thorn in my ass from day one. Why in the hell would I ever-” He stopped, suddenly realizing he may be over-playing his hand.

“So, when is he coming over?” Pavel smirked, knowing this conversation was officially over and he’d got what he wanted.

Then again, so did Leonard, even if he was totally not admitting that right now.

When he didn’t respond, the young Russian rolled his eyes. “Oh please, as if you two's bickering wasn’t the result of some long-repressed sexual tension.” 

The audacity of this bitch.

Thought with love, of course.

“Jesus Christ, okay.” Leonard threw his hands up as if it were going to stop the assault on this bullshit front he’d so carefully crafted. This was all Pavel was getting from him. There was no clear admission in sight. It was safer that way.

The last time they talked about this, Leonard left the conversation with the understanding that maybe if Pavel fucked that...impersonal green-blooded hobgoblin he’d get him out of his system.

He was coming to realize that was not the case and he was deeper in this himself than he’d ever wanted to be.

Then again, he could probably stand to go deeper.


	10. there were three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This took forever
> 
> It's short
> 
> But hey! 
> 
> Spones+Chekov (is that a thing? Is there a name for that???)

Pavel leaned back on the couch. “Well, shit…”

“What now?” Leonard asked, a headache threatening to take him over.

“I never thought this far...are we just supposed to ask him? And how?”

The older man reached out for the com on the coffee table, pressing the button he spoke. “Mccoy to Commander Spock, come in.”

Pavel’s eyes widened, momentarily believing his boyfriend was going to just ask for a threesome over Starfleet’s frequency. 

“Spock here, what is it Doctor?” His tone suggested he was working, most likely on the bridge helping Christof with his coordinates yet again. 

Damn kid.

Leonard thought carefully, not about to be so brave as to alert the rest of the bridge to his shenanigans. “I need some information from you to update your medical file, as well as a few signatures. ...was wonderin’ if you’d be willing to just drop by my quarters and get this over with.”

“How eloquent…” Pavel sighed, of course, he’d want to ‘get this over with’. 

“I may be able to spare fifteen minutes for you, Doctor. Spock out,” The Vulcan’s voice quirked an interesting tone, something the two men weren’t sure they’d heard from him before. 

“So, you’ve done this before?” The younger man was mostly joking and a small bit curious. He wanted to pry his boyfriend, but Pavel knew he’d just end up jealous. 

“Once ‘er twice.” The doctor shrugged as if it were no big thing. “...not with Spock.” He added quickly, glancing at the door as if the commander might just appear any second. 

The younger man looked, too. “Are you nervous?”

The question jarred a less than confident scoff out of Leonard. “ ‘course not.” 

“That’s convincing…” Pavel grinned, pressing his palms into the doctor’s shoulders. “You’re being stubborn again, Leo.”

Somewhere between Leonard’s dismissive grunt and Pavel’s eye roll, the doors opened for Spock. He walked in observing the two men’s mild agitation for each other, though it may be playful. The Vulcan concluded it was playful and let his brow relax. “You needed me to sign something, Doctor?”

Leonard almost looked guilty as he spoke. “Well, actually we talked about things ...an’ uh…”

Pavel leaned over the back of the couch, looking at Spock expectantly. “I think he means you’re supposed to kiss me now, if you want to.” 

He seemed to study the two men, yet again. Spock took a step back from the men, seeming quite nervous. “I do, but I do not wish to go further. I have come to realize I require a platonic role…” 

Pavel glanced to Leonard for a moment before returning his gaze to Spock. “Understood, but I still really want you to kiss me.” 

The Vulcan slowly closed the gap between them, using two fingers to tilt Pavel’s chin up. The younger man leaned up into him, almost fully being supported by the Vulcan as he had climbed completely over the couch. 

Pavel felt two hands on his waist, helping to steady him. He thought himself silly for his absentminded attempt to crawl into Spock’s arms in such an awkward way, though he didn’t feel judged. 

Leonard cleared his throat after what was a painfully long moment. Although he wouldn't confess as to why. 

The two men broke apart as Pavel slid back onto the couch with a silly grin on his face. 

Spock's eyes flickered between the two men before him, contemplating Leonard, who he knew would be too much of something to ask. His eyes settled on the doctor's lips. "May I have the honor?" There was a hint of sarcasm, and if the tint on the doctors cheeks gave anything away; it was the right move. 

Leonard was at a loss for once, only giving a quick nod before he felt the Vulcan's lips against his. His mind dared to spew cliches; something about waiting a lifetime for this. All which only served to embarrass him further. He was pretty sure Pavel's never seen him like this, unsure in a giddy way, like a goddamned schoolboy. He felt Spock's lips threatening to pull away, too soon for him. The space between them, empty, void of clashing, cold space, made him realize they had a lot of time to make up for. 

Part of him wished he would've just grabbed him back in his office, though that wouldn't have been right. 

He seemed to come back to Pavel's hands on his shoulders pulling him closer. The younger man lightly pressed his lips against his, and guided him back in what seemed like a second. 

Sometime, during that moment, Spock had snuggled into Pavel's side. It was an attractive sight, for once the younger man playing protector, with his arms around a very relaxed Spock.

The two men were pretty sure they'd seen the Vulcan in most forms today; fascinating. 

The youngest man gently got comfortable around the Vulcan, glancing over to Leonard as if to tell him to get comfortable.

Neither men were about to question a sleepy Spock, despite being out of character. They found it endearing. 

Leonard settled in, feeling as if he was cramming himself into place. It was more so a personal statement, as the couch was roomy enough to fit three bodies. He felt a hand reach back, resting on his thigh, near instantly calming his inner doubts. 

After all this, the hoops it took to get here, the doctor allowed himself rest.


End file.
